not too long ago I wrote a post about "what not to say to a wife of a deployed soldier"....Tuesday Update....if this doesn't link it correctly, it is the July 5, 2007 post...
Tonight I got this email from my Husband's boss's wife.....I have to admit I broke down in tears. yes, I am WAY emotional this week....those of you being visited by aunt Flo know the feelings. But in total opposition to what NOT to say, this is what TO say to a wife who hasn't seen her husband in 15 months....(okay you totally cannot count the two weeks we had in March!!) I am adding my comments in crimson.....
Dear Military Wife, I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news. ***I don't watch the news, so I don't know much either, welcome to my world.***
I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for. ***i think this is the hardest part of being me***
I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband. ***again, I DO NOT read the paper, it is way to worrisome when I see Husband's division mentioned***
I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so. ***15 months is way too long***
I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand. ***It is hard to admit that my babies even know where Iraq is on a globe.***
I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home. ***when I got news of the extra three month extension, I had to go take a shower so the kids wouldn't see me cry***
I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with. ***I almost think a week long field exercise is nice every once in a while....makes you appreciate what you have***
And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the newsthat everyone is terrified of getting. ***Okay, I am getting way too real here,....I get dressed: makeup and shoes every single day because I am paranoid someone in dress greens will come knocking on my door, and I will be the wife standing there in her jammies at 2 in the afternoon.***
For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel.
I can not tell you that you must be strong. ***I am not, I am just doing what has to be done.***
I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". ***Yes, I did, but in 1997, I didn't even think about it, I just wanted to be with him.***
I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.
What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - -I will never have to walk in your shoes.
I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it,until now.
I have figured out that you are not like other women.
You are of a special breed. ***I do agree with this wholeheartedly!!***
You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess.
The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America. ***I do cry when I hear the National Anthem***
You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American. ****thank you****
I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment. ***not many people do***
Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.
Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.
Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family.
You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down.
Military families make this nation what it is today.
You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Because of you and your family...I am able to be me.
I am able to have my family.
I am able to walk free in this great land.
Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay.
Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.
I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.
I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable.
However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me....And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.
You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.May God Bless You
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED Caveats: NONE
i think as a wife of a career soldier this is all that I could ever want to hear from someone. I know many people don't agree with all that is going on.....but I will be here supporting my Husband's choice he made long before he met me. I think as a wife I would love to be acknowledged and appreciated. This last year has been the hardest thing I have ever done!
Now, if you have read this far, send me your name and address. I will personally send you a thank you note......
happy sappy Sunday.....
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16 comments:
This is so very beautiful. I really feel for you. You are such a strong woman. I don't want to sound cliche but thank you from the bottom of my heart for the sacrifices you and your family are making so we can be free. What would we do without families like yours?
Tommie,
The letter is truly eloquent, but it is your candid crimson comments that have moved me to tears this morning.
"You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American" You most certainly are, through and through.
Always,
L
I am sitting here with tears in my eye. What a beautiful letter and moving video. Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do.
This. was. beautiful. It actually put a lump in my throat.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your sacrifices (his and yours). You're both heroes in my eyes.
I'm here counting the 53 days with you friend.
I don't miss the days of being a military wife but I am glad I went through them. I discovered that I can be much stronger than I ever thought when I needed to be.
And for the record...I still get welled up at the anthem - yes I do.
I'm so glad your husband's boss's wife sent this to you! It's important to recognize what the spouses, and even the children, go through so that our country can be protected. Hugs :-)
NO thank you note needed. It was a wonderful, heartrending, inspiring read!
The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the - Web Reconnaissance for 10/26/2007 A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day...so check back often.
This a the most beautiful post! I am also counting those 53 days with you too! I, being a military brat all my life, can relate to some of your story. But, of course it is so different for you, being that it is your husband and all. I am proud of you. I am proud of him! You both have so very much to be proud of! See ya soon.
:'(
Thank you all for the encouraging words. I really didn't write this post as a PVM...(Please Validate Me) ....I am truly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am sure these next two months will fly by...at least I am hoping they do.
Hey T! Well, you have officially turned me into a sappy friend. I sat here and just cried. It is hard enough that my hubby is gone 2 or 3 weeks a month but I get two days in between with him. I truly cannot imagine what you have gone through the last 13 months but I can imagine the joy that your heart will burst with the moment you see Mike and his men walk into sight. Well, poop...I am crying again!!! Just want you to know that I love ya and am thinking about you and Mike is always in my prayers!
Hey T! Well, you have officially turned me into a sappy friend. I sat here and just cried. It is hard enough that my hubby is gone 2 or 3 weeks a month but I get two days in between with him. I truly cannot imagine what you have gone through the last 13 months but I can imagine the joy that your heart will burst with the moment you see Mike and his men walk into sight. Well, poop...I am crying again!!! Just want you to know that I love ya and am thinking about you and Mike is always in my prayers!
What a wonderful and smart woman your husband's bosses' wife must be! 15 months is so very long to be apart- I know firsthand from many years ago. You don't have to always be strong, just doing what you have to do is enough sometimes. :-)
Thank you to your husband, you and your family and all that are like you!
OK, I cried when I read it, but I cried more when I read your response. You are the epitome of the military wife.
You stand beside and behind him in the most difficult of situations. But, the most difficult is, you stand alone most often. We whine and carry on when we really want to pretend we are sleeping as they crawl into bed, if only your didnt have to pretend he was in bed. You are the strongest women in this land of ours. The land that your hubby's protect so that we can crawl into bed every night and our only worry is "do I have to do it again tonight", I'm way too tired!
Thanks for all you do for me. Thanks to your children for doing without so that mine can do with, thanks to your hubby, that mine is here with me!
Have a peace filled night. You are in my prayers as is Mike each day.
hugs
Penny
Thank you for sharing this lovely post.
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