Happy birthday to me...

I don't know what I thought 45 would be like...I don't feel 45. I don't look 45. Though I do notice a bit more gray, a few more 'cracks' (as Will called them) around my forehead where I scrunch it. Midlife is not at all what I imagined way back when I thought 40 was OLD. I guess two kids under ten will keep you young.

I look back at my teen years: always being the good girl, getting good grades, making it into OU. In my twenties, I was still the people pleaser. Now I was just pleasing my principal and fellow teachers. It took me a year or two to learn to say "NO" to various things I was volunteered to do.

I got married when I was 30. We moved from Oklahoma to Alaska, leaving everything I had ever known. Thank goodness for the good friends we made there. I also had two babies in two years. Now that will make life interesting. It was then that I finally learned to stop trying to please everybody. I also figured out I might not ever fit back into those pre-baby clothes. My body is definitely curvier in places it didn't used to be curvy. But I can find and wear clothes that fit my body and look good. Clinton and Stacy (from What Not to Wear) are fountains of info! A good under garment (as Stacy and Clinton would say) is not something to skimp.

So, slowly, over the past years I have learned to realize while I might not be perfect, I am alright and I have some great bras!

I've learned Husband is the only person who has seen me at my worst, smelled my "morning breath", put up with  my crazy relatives, endured my quirky overly organized anal habits/tendencies and still loves me more than anybody else on Earth.  Thank you Husband for loving me!


Here’s what I want you to do for my birthday. Send someone an e-mail and tell them how much you appreciate them, or love them. Do it right now. Then tell me about it in the comments. That’s what I want. It’s my birthday so you have to do it.

Testing

Photo, originally uploaded by tommiea1.

Should I start this old thing up again....

I <3 fall And Tuesdays Oct 2010

I , originally uploaded by tommiea1.

Current Scent: = all time favorite candle...Root mulled cider + pumpkin spice = at the same time..... best fall scent of all time

What I am reading: that would require some free time...so it has to be whatever textbooks and pacing calendar are on the Oklahoma pacing calendar.

Newest music: Teenage Dream....Katy Perry!

Movie I saw: Jacka$$ 3D....yes, I paid extra for the glasses to see faux peni$es flying at me! Thank you Ashlee and E!

Something Yummy: .. always pumpkin chocolate chip muffins ...

Something that made me cry: most Sundays at 4...if you know me, you know where I am. I pretty much grab 4-5 tissues as I walk in. while I know it is a process, it still hurts. i still cry every single freakin' time

Something that made me laugh: O telling a joke she thought was hilarious: "how do you wake up Lady Gaga? .....O says, "you Poke Her Face" ......Tell me, you laughed too!

Something I look forward to in November: being stronger, realizing all WILL be okay

Something that I will remember in October: My baby girl turned six....life goes on....

Something that I am thankful for: family, friends, a job...and a deep desire to continue no matter where my life path leads..because i will live a life with no regrets

A photo i took this month:
this one.....a lone leaf on the sidewalk to the bus ramp....the bus ramp i man every day in the morning as well as the afternoon..

i heart fall.....and

choose

to

heart

SOMETHING

about

every

single

day

Friday Fill In: Gorgeous Full Moon

Gorgeous Full Moon, originally uploaded by tommiea1.

So...here we go!

1. one of my strongest beliefs is *only you can control your actions and reactions to things.

there are many things in life we can't control - relationships, when someone we care about dies, other's people's actions . . . the list goes on forever.

the only we can control is our own behavior, our own actions & reactions. even truth is subjective & facts can mislead, it all depends on someone's perspective - look at eye-witness testimony, people don't see things the same way, the forget or get confused.

for me, it entails - treating others as i would want to be treated, being open-minded & tolerant, expecting the best from others, but understanding if & when they fail to live up to that, not asking someone to do something i wouldn't do, being worth of other's trust, not betraying others . . .

it's a high standard & i screw up occaisionally, but it's making the attempt to the best of my ability that's important.

like i said, you can't control anything, but yourself & if you fail that, what's left ----->stepping off my soap box now...dang, that was long winded

2. *made a* huge *decision this week*!

3. the sky is cloudy with a threat of rain and wind and cold, so *i know i will sleep well tonight, i love rainy nights*.

4. *the sound of rain coming down* is comforting to me.

5. i always thought I'd be *a fun mom, teacher, friend*

6. *i was talking on the phone with a friend* and then I went outside to look at the full moon.

7. and as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to *pizza with the kids*, tomorrow my plans include *going to OKC with BFF Traci and Sunday, I want to *make the most of the day*!

PS, i know the moon shot is a bit fuzzy...but i loved the full moon with a bit of fluffy clouds cruising by....it really did have this huge glowing ring around it.

happy weekend, y'all

Oklahoma...on The Straight And Narrow

Oklahoma...on The Straight And Narrow, originally uploaded by tommiea1.

Once again it is time to play Sunday Stealing ... can i play on a tuesday evening? of course i can, it's my blog

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? dang, i have some mongo bags under my eyes! i wonder if i have any cucumbers in the fridge. (ps, i didn't!)

2. How much cash do you have on you? i get out enough to cover eating out at craptastic drive thru food for the month, so probably about $100

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? bore....and i do know a few...i hope i don't bore anyone enough they think of me when they hear this word

4. Favorite planet? for reals? Mars....because "girls go to Mars to get more candy bars, boys go to Jupitar to get more stupider" ......but let's totally overlook 1.) I don't eat many sweets and even more importantly 2.) stupider?? is that even really a word...who is more studpider now?? it just may have been those superfluous candy bars

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? my son's soccer coach....oops!

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? only if you promise not to laugh...."bounce" by the Jonas brothers


7. What shirt are you wearing? cute gray T from Target

8. Do you label yourself? with my handy dandy label maker....absolutely Mother of two,Sooner, Photographer, Control Freak, Creative, Curvy, neat freak, Amusing, Sleep Deprived, organized.....should i go on?

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? barefoot....but with some lemon verbena lotion on my tootsies

10. Bright or Dark Room? depends...sleeping, total darkness
at home in the afternoon....blinds pulled, sun shining in

11. Did you do anything to celebrate John Lennon's 70th yesterday? not a single thing


12. What does your watch look like? my bulova is my favorite .. pink face.. simple ...exactly like me, okay maybe my face is more tan than pink...but simple, classic...that is me!


13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, i am a working woman now!


14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? "cute enough" in response to my friend Ashlee wanting a "cute pic" to have on her phone for when i call her

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? we don't have 7-11s, we have Stripes now, i think.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? "i see"....

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? kids...O & W when I put them to bed.....love me some kid love!

18. Last furry thing you touched? muhahahhaa ... I could have so much fun with this! ..but I'll be honest....Josie, the French Bulldog!

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? one word: cramps....so ibuprofen....in large doses

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? None!! It's called digital!

21. Favorite age you have been so far? I would say 42 ... It was probably my most life changing period....it just happened. i have to remember that in the end, it is all going to be okay. Living life on the straight and narrow.

pic taken of a road in Oklahoma....it really is this flat and straight. Life does go on, and just beyond the horizon is something you can't just quite imagine.

so imagine and wonder what will be

is it really October??

Good Morning! Happy Wednesday, originally uploaded by tommiea1.

right now! (borrowed from Janet)

1. i am thinking… it's been a good weekend

2. i am thankful for… first...family, friends, and a great place to work

3. from the kitchen… will come chocolate chip pumpkin muffins..(W's absolute fav muffins of all time, and a great way to welcome fall!)

4. i am wearing…eeks...it's late.....a grey t-shirt, leggings...and socks! my feet are cold

5. i am creating… an organized home that fits us

6. i am going… to take my mom out to eat for her bday tomorrow

7. i am reading… a book that goes through twelve weeks of lessons of where i am right now in my life.

8. i am hoping… to enjoy each day as it comes

9. i am hearing… cows mooing in the background...i live out in the pawpaw patch

10. around the house… it is very quiet

11. one of my favorite things… Root candles in the mulled cider scent

12. a few plans for the rest of the week… finishing up the first nine weeks of school...knowing i did it. i can do this

13. A picture to share…this is the road behind my house....i drive up it to cross town to get to my school. we get to see the sunrise most mornings. with each new day...

i realize..

i

can

do

this.

it

makes

me

be

me

happy October, y'all

Reach For The Clouds

Reach For The Clouds, originally uploaded by tommiea1.

i saw these on my way to soccer this morning.

on the way home, i had to pull over to take a few shots. good thing i live out in the paw paw patch.

i love the yellow petals reaching out towards the blue blue sky.

“Bring me then the plant that points to those bright Lucidites swirling up from the earth, And life itself exhaling that central breath! Bring me the sunflower crazed with the love of light” - Eugenio Montale